


Restraint

by Habanc



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: F/F, Internal Conflict, Psychological
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-04
Updated: 2012-09-08
Packaged: 2018-01-07 02:24:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1114401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Habanc/pseuds/Habanc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Rarity, the words left unsaid are often most meaningful. A life of standards and a sense of class has led her to assume that breaking these standards are wrong, and that reining in one's true emotions is a path to success.</p>
<p>However, something has been keeping her up at night and threatening to break the mold she has lived by throughout her life. Which will crack first, her presumed lifestyle or herself?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“So, what do I do? Just spin it?”

“Well, yeah, egghead. Just twirl it around and see where it lands.”

Twilight put a hoof up to her face, trying to hide her redding cheeks, “Do I really have to do this, Rainbow? This feels so... Embarrasing.”

Pinkie Pie giggled. “That's part of the fun!” She smiled at the lavender pony, “Besides, it's your birthday, and _everypony_ knows the birthday girl goes first.”

An orange hoof patted Twilight's shoulder. “Don'cha worry none, Twilight. Those two are just a lil' uppity after practicin' so much.” Applejack shot the pair a glare.

“Hey!” Rainbow Dash got up with a start, pointing her hoof menacingly. “That was one time!”

“Yeah, well...” Applejack grinned, “Ah have mah doubts.” A gasp of shock could be heard as Fluttershy cowered closer to the ground.

 _”Typical sleepover...”_ Rarity giggled to herself. _”We'll be here all night if nopony does something._

“Twilight,” The white unicorn spoke up, turning the mare's gaze to her. “Would you please be a dear and just spin the bottle?”

Twilight's cheeks reddened a bit more. “Oh... Right. Sure Rarity.” Her horn glowed as she quickly gave the glass bottle a spin along the library floor.

 _”Come on. Come onnn....”_ Rarity almost tapped her hoof with anticipation as the bottle rotated. It went around the circle twice before starting to slow down. Her eyes grew as the bottle slowly came teetering around towards her. _”Yes, yes! Now stop! Stay right there!_

The bottle laid still along the floor, and everypony looked up to see who it pointed at.

“Aww shucks...” Applejack scratched the back of her neck, grinning nervously. “Ah always hate goin' first.”

Rarity's heart drooped as she looked over at the orange earth pony next to her. She dare not let it show, but she felt the green vines of jealousy wrap around her.

“Oh, well that's perfectly fine!” Twilight chattered nervously, “You don't have to! In fact, we can just skip this one and let-”

“No, Twilight, rules are rules!” Pinkie put a hoof over Twilight's mouth, before pushing her over towards Applejack. 

Twilight sat in the middle of the room, her view darting from pony to pony, hoping for any sort of help. She gulped nervously, her forelegs wobbling slightly. Her eyes finally met Rarity's, pleading for a way out.

Despite all of her inner emotions, Rarity simply mouthed, “Go on,” and smiled encouragingly. 

The other unicorn gave in with a sigh, and turned to Applejack, who had taken her hat off and scooted over towards Twilight. Neither one looked comfortable, but Twilight leaned in quickly and planted a brusque kiss on the earth pony's lips before sheepishly trotting back to her spot. Her face had turned to a new shade of crimson, ears folded back as she tried to avoid everypony's gaze.

 _”She's just too adorable like that...”_ Rarity mused as Applejack gave the bottle a spin. _”It's a downright shame she doesn't realize it.”_

The bottle pointed towards Rainbow Dash. She and Applejack shared a kiss before the pegasus took her turn. 

_”I mean, everypony should know when they look good, and Twilight especially.”_ She continued pondering as the bottle twirled round and round. _”The poor girl could use the confidence boost, especially with her royal trip to Canterlot coming up.”_

Twilight had been asked via letter by Princess Celesta herself to give a lecture on the psychological effects of friendship and companionship to the senior class of _Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns_. Apparently the Princess wanted to see how much she had learned. The date was still months away, but she had already put herself through a fit.

_”Maybe I could just lead her on... Yes! That'd work pretty nice-”_

“Rarity!” Rainbow Dash's voice shook her out her thoughts. “Are you okay, or are you just going to stare at the wall all night and keep making weird faces?”

“Oh! I- I'm sorry, Rainbow, I was just thinking about something.” Her eyes scanned everypony's face, all of them giving her a perplexed look. Her coat began to burn up and itch annoyingly with embarrassment. “What's the matter?”

The rainbow-maned mare gave her a wretchedly bad attempt at a flirty gaze, winking. “See the bottle?”

Rarity looked down, cold waves of horror washing over her as she did. It was pointed right at her. Dead-on. Square in the chest. 

“Oh...” The white unicorn glanced despairingly to Twilight, perhaps she could find a way to get her out of this, right? Twilight was a smart girl, she'd know what to do!

Instead, she simply motioned her hoof to for Rarity to continue. Rarity sighed. Any other pony and she'd be fine, even Pinkie Pie. But the few rather unfortunate times she'd been stuck with Rainbow, it had been less than stellar. Her breath was simply atrocious, and she had a habit of getting overly passionate with her kisses.

Still, Rarity kept her head high and walked over to her. “Alright, let's make this _short_.”

“No problem!” Rainbow said before leaning in and kissing her. Rarity slammed her eyes shut, trying to pretend she was with somepony else. The horrendous taste of old pizza and cheap apple cider skimmed her lips.

_”I am not here right now, I am not not here ri-”_

Not less than a second before she felt Rainbow's lips leaver her own, over as quickly as it began. When she opened her eyes, the pegasus shot her a smirk before hopping back to her seat.

Rarity sighed. It still felt like kissing a garbage can, but at least it was quick. It was worth it for a shot to spin the bottle herself.

Settling back down in her own spot, she used her horn to twirl the glass bottle. Round and round it went, Rarity's gaze unwavering as she followed its path. When it finally stopped, she looked right up to the quickly-reddening face of Fluttershy.

 _”Can't I just get a break?”_ She groaned.

-~-

_”Well, that went swimmingly,”_ Rarity sighed as the five other ponies got up from the circle they had been in for the last fifteen minutes. She had to endure two more bouts with Rainbow Dash, plus everypony else as many times. Everypony, that is, except Twilight.

To herself, in secret, Rarity had admitted she had developed a crush on the studious mare. “Developed” is the key word, because it had grew over the course of months since meeting her. Sure, she had noticed that the lavender pony had a underlying attractiveness that she seldom brought out, but that wasn't any sort of deal-breaker nor any first step.

It wasn't until the fashionista had begun to spend time with her, that Twilight's adorably awkward personality had grown on the high-class mare. She was, when there were no “royal duties” on her shoulders, light-hearted and easy to talk to, with a subtle yet enjoyable sense of humor. In addition, whenever Rarity sought help on a topic that didn't exceed her social ineptitude, the mare offered sound advice and also listened well. She seemed to care about her problems and sometimes went above and beyond to help. Oh, and whenever she blushed, an involuntary urge to give her a hug rose in Rarity's heart.

In a single sentence, Twilight was a pony that Rarity had become comfortable around and could depend upon, a pony she could confidently be herself with and not worry about appearing “proper”; being cute was just a bonus.

Yet, she had been reluctant to confide in anypony about this. Not Fluttershy, her best friend, nor her father or mother. She had even been reluctant to admit it to herself. It wasn't until one wintery day, which could have easily been spent indoors enjoying a glass of cabernet sauvignon while creating plans for a new spring dress, that she found herself at Twilight's door, asking to borrow a book she already had. She really had no reason to be there, as it was snowing outdoors, she already owned the book she looked to rent, and a day indoors to relax and pretend to do work would have been a welcome sight after a month of stress from designing a winter fashion line.

At that point, it had become clear that she had gravitated towards the library solely to see the purple pony inside it. For herself, it was impossible to deny, even though she had been trying to for weeks. Rarity, an aspiring fashion designer, with her barn door swinging _that_ way?! It would be a drab on her reputation and ponies would invariably talk behind her back when she walked by. Perhaps, even, she would be overlooked by the influential ponies in Canterlot (the nobility and aristocracy were hardly known for their liberal qualities) because of her attraction to the same gender! These thoughts had kept her up at night on more than one occasion, and yet as much as she tried, she couldn't get Twilight off her mind.

When she got down to the bottom of it, Rarity believed that Twilight had certain qualities that although were polar opposites from her own, in a sense made her feel more complete and secure. The lavender mare was not constantly worrying about how she appeared in public, and she didn't feel the need to uphold a standard of class and civility. 

Although, truthfully, the white unicorn did not enjoy acting like a slob or letting her mane fall into a tangled mess, sometimes she would do anything to let the shackles of self-consciousness and insecurity fall to the ground. It would be a dream to be able to laugh from the bottom of her stomach, to speak straight from her heart, or to act on her impulses. Right now, it felt like all her emotions, all her thoughts, all her words and all her actions ran through a filter of superficial standards. It would be a dream to let it go. It would be a dream to just be herself.

And with Twilight, it seemed like it could be true.

-~-

“What's next, Twilight?” Pinkie asked as she stood up, “Is it cookie baking?! Ooh, or is it cake eating?!”

Twilight giggled. “Sorry Pinkie, I would get out the cake for us now, but you ate that all on the way over, remember?”

Pinkie Pie frowned.

“But, that's no big deal.” The magical unicorn smiled at her reassuringly. She took out a scroll and scanned down its contents. “Oh, here we are! Next up, makeovers!”

Rainbow Dash let out an annoyed groan as Rarity shot up off the floor. “Great idea, Twilight!” The unicorn exclaimed. “As a pony with a flare for fashion, I would be honored to give you the perfect slumber party makeover!”

Twilight was taken aback for a second, “A-an honor?” She looked nonplussed. “Rarity, this is just for fun-”

Rarity steered her over to a mirror by the hoof, toting a bag behind her. “Nonsense, my dear! It's your birthday, and you deserve to look your best!” She added in a lower tone, “And besides, would you rather have somepony like Rainbow Dash style your mane for you?”

Twilight's face eased up with a giggle. “Oh, I guess you're right, Rarity.” She sat down in front of the mirror. “Work your magic,” she added with a smile.

Meanwhile, Applejack walked over to Rainbow Dash, who was already watching the two. “Uhh, Rainbow, have ya noticed, uh... Anythin' strange about Rarity? She seemed ta be in a fit earlier, an' right now she got up quicker 'an a dog fer supper.”

“Nah, this is Rarity we're talking about here. Makeup and fashion are her thing, and I'm glad I don't have to do it.” Rainbow took a second to cast her eyes over Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, who had paired up also. “I just don't get it, why do ponies even do this?”

“Aww, it ain't that bad.” Applejack spoke a bit quieter. “Heck, the first sleepover I had with Twilight and Rarity turned out ta be jus' fine.” She doubled back quickly, “Uhh, after a few bumps ah guess.”

The cyan pegasus gave her a gasp of disbelief. “ _You_ got a makeover and you enjoyed it?! I thought you were Applejack, queen of bucking apples and getting her hooves dirty, not Applejack, queen of frou-frou dresses and... Uh... Makeup-y stuff.”

Applejack recoiled back. “O' course ah'm not! All ah was sayin' is that it ain't horrible...”

Rainbow smirked. “Admit it, you liked it.”

The orange workpony gave her a leer, and remained quiet.

Elsewhere, Rarity ran a brush through Twilight's mane. “Dear, I really must ask what you put in your hair, it's so soft and plush.”

Twilight shrugged. “Oh, just that shampoo at Bon-Bon's general store. It's nothing really.”

Rarity's eyes widened as she echoed Twilight's words, “Just that shampoo at Bon-Bon's general store...” She laughed. “Oh Twilight, you could do so much better with shampoo and conditioner I buy from the spa! Just think how dazzling you'd look, what luster your mane would have!”

Twilight politely dismissed it with a wave of her hoof. “Oh, that's not really necessary Rarity, I don't think I need it. Besides, isn't that stuff pretty expensive?” 

The other unicorn nearly dropped her brush as she applied touches of rouge to Twilight's face. “Not necessary?! Don't mind the cost, I go to the spa enough to get you a generous discount.” She smiled, “But honestly dearie, why should a pony as attractive as you skimp on keeping your hair looking it's best?”

Twilight blushed, looking away. “You- you really think I'm attractive?” The last word seemed foreign to her, scarcely said from her mouth. “Uhh... Well, umm, gee... Thanks Rarity, nopony has told me that before.”

“Nopony's told you what before, Twilight?” Pinkie Pie asked from across the room, as Fluttershy tried in vain to brush her mane. Applejack and Rainbow Dash both picked up their heads and turned to Twilight.

 _”No, no, no, no! This is not what I meant by 'leading her on'!”_ Rarity's mind scrambled. _”But what can I do?! If I just take it back, Twilight will feel just awful... But if I do nothing, maybe somepony will catch on!”_

“Haha, nothing Pinkie!” Rarity interrupted awkwardly before Twilight could answer. She turned to the lavender pony and lowered her voice, “Well, uh, I mean... I d-" She took a second to gather her thoughts. "Err, rather, I've heard from somepony or two...”

Twilight beamed, even though her cheeks were still quite red. “Oh, uh, who was it then? I mean, not like I'd talk to them or anything but like I said nopony has told me this before and it would be so nice to find out what kind of pony likes me!” She spat out a jumble of nervous yet energetic words as if her mouth could not move quick enough. “Maybe that pony likes reading books on the magical theorems of Sol Firestar, or likes to attend seminars on the medicinal properties of the flora in the Everfree Forest, or even likes stargazing on the night of Gallerion's Dusk when Halcyon 441 is at its brightest!” She clapped her hooves together in delight at the prospect of it all.

Rarity frowned. _”I'm none of that. Scientific books bore me, I haven't been to a seminar since art school, and I have no clue what or who Halcyon 441 is.”_ But then her lips started to change to a smile, _”Although, maybe I could learn to be...”_

“Well, what if the pony who I heard from wasn't quite like that?” The white unicorn queried. “What if she was more into making stuff with her hooves, paying attention to details, and thinking outside the box? Like, umm, an artist of sorts?” She shuffled anxiously, as she tried to finish up the makeup on Twilight's face.

Twilight tilted her head, tapping a hoof to her chin and pondering the question. “Well, I guess that's still nice. I mean, even I enjoy a piece of fine art or a string concerto...” She suddenly gave Rarity a look. “Did you say 'she'?”

Rarity froze in her tracks. Her brain racked her vocabulary for words yet turned up blank. All sense of reaction and thought of replying slammed to a halt.

“Umm... Uhhh... Well.. Yes,” She admitted. “Yes, she seemed like a sweet girl, dear. I think she just assumed you were... You know, like that.” She remained silent for a second, but continued after inhaling deeply. “However, if you're only into stallions I'll be sure to let her know.”

Twilight gave her a confused look. “What? Why?” She chuckled to herself. “So what if it's a mare or a stallion?”

“So what?!” Rarity mirrored her. “Well, I mean, Twilight... Everypony has their preferences, you know.”

Her crush simply smiled. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I value the fact that somepony finds me attractive more than what gender they are?”

“Oh... Really?”

“Yes.” Twilight still looked embarrassed, her ears folded back as she avoided eye contact. Rarity's legs felt like they turned into jelly. “Like I said before, nopony really... Well, nopony noticed.” She gulped. “I- I didn't even notice.”

It took all of her honed and disciplined self-control to stop Rarity from wrapping up the adorable lavender pony and telling her that she had, in fact, noticed. Every nanometer of muscle in her heart was screaming for her to forgo the fact that other ponies were in the room and just confess to Twilight what she had kept hidden from both herself, and others, for months. For a fraction of a second, she felt like she could really do it. 

And yet, at the last moment, something in the depths of her mind held her back, inches from the surface. A primal, instinctive fear that being different was wrong. That being truly herself was wrong.

Instead, Rarity simply smiled and took a step back from Twilight, hiding her inner turmoil through a perfect mask on her face. “There you go, dear. Your makeover is finished. Do you think it's okay?”

Twilight finally gave herself a full look-over and gasped. “Oh, wow... Rarity...” Her mouth hung agape. “This... I... I look great!”

And that she did. She didn't need much work, but what little was done highlighted her subtle beauty and brought out her charm. She looked both the same, and yet positively different. Her eyes shone like polished amethyst, and her mane glistened like it was a sunny day.

The unicorn turned around and gave Rarity a hug. “Thank you so much! Rarity, you're the best!”

“Oh, it's nothing, Twilight.” She sniffled. Her chin quivered. She wanted to break down and cry for being so weak. Too weak to even make her life instantly better at the price of being a little different.

“I'm glad you like it.” 

However, no tears came and her eyes remained dry.

-~-

_”The deepest feeling always shows itself in silence;_  
not in silence, but restraint."  
\- Marianne Moore 


	2. Chapter 2

Rarity's heart was racing. Her legs were working as fast they could, hair blowing behind her as the wind dried out her eyes. Her breathing came out in short bursts.

Charging down the main road of Ponyville, the white unicorn was weaving in and out of other pastel-colored equines. Her hooves begun to ache as she skidded out of the way of a cabbage cart, continuing her relentless pace onward. Oddly enough, it seemed like time had stopped, no other pony noticing her as she charged onwards to her goal. In fact, it was like none of them even cared that she was tearing through the busiest part of town.

Soon enough, the tree library came into view, and confidence began to fill her heart. _”I can do this! Yes, I can do this!”_ Dreams of the future began to fill her mind, happy times and loving evenings. Everything was coming together harmoniously. 

_"FWOMP!"_

Out of nowhere, something materialized right in her path, just as she was on top of it. No time to stop, Rarity slammed into it at full speed. The object stood firm, while the unicorn fell backwards, a headache screaming in her temples. 

The world was fuzzy, her ears ringing from impact. She felt dizzy and frantic, struggling to make heads or tails of the situation. When she opened her eyes, she could hardly see, the impact impairing her vision and making everything blurry. It looked like a cloud... Or maybe a mound of snow.

She began to hear mumbled voices as a nagging pain formed in her shoulder. 

“Ow!” Rarity yelped as she rubbed her shoulder weakly. Voices continued to whisper and hush around her. The world proceeded to get darker and darker as the voices got louder and louder. For a second, she felt like she was deep underwater, in a fluid environment with no direction at all.

Soon enough nothing was visible, the world swallowed in darkness.

“Hey, Rarity, are you awake?”

Rarity rose her head and yawned, feeling as weary and as beat up as she was in her dream. Her head pounded and her shoulder was killing her. Slowly, she looked around her.

Fluttershy was laying down next to her on a spa bed, her hoof reached out worriedly. “You were asleep for the entire massage,” she frowned worriedly, “and you started talking in your sleep and moving sporadically. Are you okay?”

“What?” Rarity froze, “Wait, Fluttershy, what did I say?!” Her voice sounded panicked as she tried to pull herself up, but a lance of pain emanated from her shoulder. With an unladylike gasp, she flopped back onto her stomach, rubbing her shoulder.

“Be careful!” Fluttershy exclaimed. “When Lotus was giving you your massage, you made one of those weird movements and she kinda tweaked your shoulder muscles wrong.” She frowned again. “She could tell by the way your muscles tightened up, and said you'd probably have to rest it for the remainder of the day.”

The fact her shoulder was hurt did not concern her as much. It would go away within a day or two. But the shame from revealing her deepest secret would be intolerable.

“Fine, whatever, just tell me what I said!” Rarity begged frantically. _”If she knew I had my eyes on Twilight...”_ She shivered.

Fluttershy shrugged. “I don't know, it came out as a jumbled mess.” She giggled, trying to lighten the mood, “Kinda a lot like a little foal.”

The unicorn faked a smile. It still did not alleviate the fact that she was now trying to talk in her sleep. Who knew what one could say, that would otherwise be locked up in their minds?

“Oh, well I guess no real harm was done,” Rarity said, while rotating her shoulder gingerly. Sparks of pain rippled up her neck, reminding her that putting any weight on her left foreleg would be unbearable. “I guess we should head off to the hot tub.” She fidgeted uncomfortably. “Fluttershy, could you be a dear and get a wheelchair for me? I-... I don't think I can walk easily.”

Fluttershy nodded understandably, her tone switching to one she had often used with her animals, “Oh, of course! Don't you worry, I'll be right back!” The pegasus got off her bed and trotted quickly out the door.

The unicorn sighed. _”Fluttershy is simply too nice... Sometimes it honestly feels like she's done too much for me and I've done too little for her.”_ She put a hoof to her chin, remembering back to all the times the quiet pegasus had helped her out. 

_”Would even she be put off by the fact I'm interested in Twil-”_

Her thoughts were interrupted as the yellow mare entered the room pushing a wheelchair. “Here you go, Rarity!” She smiled and patted the seat assuringly. “I made sure it was extra-comfy.” 

_"Well, that was quick."_

"Thank you, darling!" she responded.

Rarity got up and off the spa bed slowly, making sure not to put weight on her left forehoof as she made her way over and onto the wheelchair. 

“Fluttershy, we've been friends for how long now, a few years?” Rarity asked as the pegasus pushed her out of the room and into the hallway towards the hot tub room. “Right?”

“Of course!” Fluttershy replied cheerily. “I can't thank you enough for how you've helped me out of my shell. Why, back when we first met, I could barely open my mouth to anypony! Now, I can walk around Ponyville and at least talk to regular ponies if I have to.” Then she added a bit more quietly, “That doesn't mean I won't be shy about it.”

Rarity opened the door with her magic as her friend pushed her into the room. It had tiled floors along the outside of an in-ground tub filled with bubbling, steaming, and all-too-inviting water. The air was humid and warm, enveloping around her body like a cozy blanket.

“Thanks, Fluttershy,” Rarity said, getting off the chair herself and limping over to the tub. “I've just been going through a lot lately and it feels good to know you're still my best friend.” She turned and smiled at her, before quickly getting in.

Rarity let out a deep sigh, letting the water run over her skin and muscles as she moved to position a jet on her strained and extremely sensitive shoulder. Although it hurt at first, slowly it began to feel better and better as it soothed her tightened muscles.

“I- is something wrong?” Fluttershy asked as she plopped opposite from her into the tub. A worried expression grew across her face.

“Yes,” Rarity admitted slowly, “But don't worry yourself, please. It'll probably just work itself out or something.” She laughed half-heartedly.

Fluttershy looked unconvinced, but didn't press. “Okay, well if you say so.” 

Rarity frowned.

Fluttershy frowned.

For minutes, they sat there in an awkward silence. The only sounds that could be heard were the popping of bubbles and the machinery powering the jets in the tub. A soft white light glowed above the two.

 _”This isn't right,”_ Rarity debated internally. _”I'm not even telling my_ best friend _how I feel. If I can't tell her, I can't tell anypony._ "

And still, they sat there in silence. Rarity shifted uncomfortably, giving her beleaguered shoulder a break from the jet. Fluttershy swirled her hoof in the water. A clock ticked on the wall as the hour hand shifted.

“So, what if... Umm, hypothetically speaking,” Rarity began slowly, her expression contorted with concentration. Fluttershy looked at her with a start, her eyes studying the unicorn's face for clues.

 _”Words are supposed to be easy!”_ Rarity thought as she tried to come up with what to say. _”Then why does it seem like rocket science to find the correct ones?”_

“Well, uh...” She continued, her voice tinged with desparation. “I've been under some stress lately. And...” Once again her mind came up dry.

“Rarity, you know you can tell me, right?” Fluttershy asked. “I can help you.”

“But, this is... Well, different,” Rarity argued. “It's so much about me... I- I don't think anypony else even **could** help.” 

Fluttershy rolled her eyes. “You don't know that until you try. Come on, please! Rarity, it makes me feel awful to see you like this. First, when I met you here, it looked you hadn't slept in days.”

Rarity blinked and rubbed her eyes. They were bloodshot and dried out; purple bags hung underneath them.

“Then, you start thrashing around in your sleep and hurt your shoulder.” Fluttershy's voice started turning a little frantic, and a frantic Fluttershy was, well, unpredictable. “And now, we can't even have a normal day at the spa like we used to!”

The pegasus made her way over to Rarity and put carefully her hooves on the white mare's shoulders. The rare, assertive, serious and use-in-case-of-an-emergency side of Fluttershy was beginning to show. “Rarity, I'm your friend and I know you. And this,” Fluttershy lifted a hoof and pointed it at her friend's face, “Is not Rarity.”

She sat down next to her and gave her a hug. “So please, tell me something. You don't have to say too much, but really, I can't stand seeing you so beat up for the past week.” 

As the other mare let go, Rarity was at a loss for words. It was true. All of it was true. Her body was falling into disrepair since the sleepover, and she had done little to correct it.

“What... What if,” The words barely came out of the unicorn's mouth. “What if I changed something about me... Something so fundamental that it changed me as a whole?”

Somewhere, deep within, the words started to flow. “Like, for example, what if I just decided one day to stop designing clothing and went off to do something completely opposite.” She stayed silent for a second, before continuing, “Would you still look at me the same way?”

“No.” Fluttershy responded. Rarity's heart plummeted.

“But, that's because that was the old Rarity. And if the new Rarity wants to be somepony else, then I'd be happy and excited for her.” Fluttershy looked her in the eyes. “Even if you moved half way around the world you'd still be my best friend.”

“R-Really?” Waves of emotion poured over Rarity as she tried fighting back tears.

“Yes,” Fluttershy said warmly. She held her hooves out wide as she saw Rarity's chin tremble. 

As the unicorn embraced her, the quiet pegasus reiterated again in a hushed voice, “Yes I would.”

-~-

Rarity shuffled into a more comfortable position as she lounged on a small couch in Fluttershy's cottage.

 _”I'm a mess,”_ Rarity lamented. _”How bad of a position do I have to be in, to have the most passive and reserved pony in Equestria literally drag me over to her own home because she's so concerned about me?”_

It was true. Once she had stopped crying, Fluttershy insisted they both go back to her house so she could keep an eye on her shoulder. However, they both knew it was so she could keep an eye on Rarity herself.

 _”It's all because of these damn feelings inside of me! Why must I feel this way?! Why must I feel so conflicted?!"_ She seethed, her anger borne from confusion and frustration. _”It's all Twilight's fault!”_ She pounded her right hoof down on the couch. _”If she wasn't so...”_

She fought for words to find to express her frustration. Her brain came up empty and her anger faltered. Instead, somewhere else she found the words to fill in the blanks: 

_”If she wasn't so carefree, acceptive, compassionate, smart and adorable...”_

Her muscles began to relax, her mind began to clear the clouds of anger, yet her heart kept beating furiously. She still wanted to be angry, to blame somepony, but she just couldn't. 

_”If she wasn't so playful, funny, good-natured and absolutely beautiful...”_

The last words barely crept out of her throat as she subconsciously finished her musings, “If she wasn't all those things, then I wouldn't feel this way about her.” 

_”But you do,”_ a voice said from deep within her.

Rarity whimpered and let her face fall into a throw pillow on the couch. It was all too much. The turmoil, the restless nights, the anxiety attacks... It was impossible to know how long she could go on. In a mere week, she had already turned into a wreck that had eaten little, slept less, and had her shoulder muscles wound tighter than a coltscout knot.

 _”Could I keep this up, for her?”_ She asked herself.

Before she could answer, the cottage door creaked open. Rarity turned to see Fluttershy enter with a bag in her mouth.

“Did you find somepony to look after the Carousel Boutique for me?” The unicorn asked as she entered. “Because if not, I couldn't possibly leave it alone! Do you know how many brilliant jewels and expensive fabrics I have in there?”

The pegasus set down the bag and smiled. “I got it all under control. I got somepony to go over right now and keep an eye on it.”

“Who?” Rarity asked, “It wasn't just anypony off the street, right?”

Fluttershy giggled. “Oh, of course not! I ran into Twilight by the market and asked if she could help-”

Rarity got up with a start, grimacing slightly as she remembered to take the weight off her left foreleg. “What?!”

Fluttershy recoiled, giving her friend a look. “Umm... Is that bad? Did I do something wrong?” 

The white mare collected herself abashedly and settled back down, her cheeks blushing faintly. “Oh, ah- um, no... Continue on, dear.”

“Anyways... She said she'd be happy to. When she asked why you were gone, I told her you hurt your shoulder and that I was keeping an eye on you for the day.”

“Oh..." Rarity took a second to analyze this new turn of events. "Really? But doesn't she have to still work as the town librarian? Surely that's more important.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “Apparently, she decided that Spike could keep an eye on things for a bit so she could help you.”

“B-But Spike's just a baby dragon!” Rarity exclaimed. “She really didn't have to do all this...”

“Relax.,” Her friend said before smiling at her. “She thought you'd say that, and she just told me to tell you that it's really no big deal.” 

Fluttershy looked down at the floor and picked up the bag in her mouth, gingerly setting it down next to Rarity. “Oh, and she wanted me to give you this too. Once she found out, she wanted to walk around the market and pick up some things for you.”

Rarity picked up the bag with her magic, giving it a look-over. “Oh wow... I wonder what it could be.”

Fluttershy walked off towards the kitchen. “Why don't you open it up while I make us some tea?”

Rarity simply nodded and opened up the bag. Inside, there was a card and a small package. She took out the card and opened it. It read:

_Dear Rarity,_

_I hope your shoulder gets better soon! I know this letter probably looks horrible and crudely thrown-together, but you can only do so much while walking around town with Fluttershy! Anyways, since I can tell you'll probably get bored while sitting around the house, I decided to get a few things to make you feel better!_

_Your friend,  
Twilight_

_P.S. When you get home tomorrow, maybe we could have a fun night in at your house! I think it'd be great to keep your mind off of that shoulder for a little longer!_

_P.P.S Besides, I still owe you a makeover for that brilliant one you gave me at my birthday party last week!_

Rarity sat there and stared at the letter for a few seconds, before reading it over again. In all reality, she should have expected something like this from Twilight, but still... A warm, happy feeling overcame her, and she felt like crying again.

 _”No! I have cried too many times today! If Fluttershy comes in to me blubbering again, then she'll definitely make me tell her!”_ She turned her eyes towards the unopened package. _”Maybe opening this up will help distract me.”_

Using her magic to tear the paper around it, revealing two box-like items. One was a book, good sized and binded with a dark green cover. “L'Amour de Charité” was printed in gold letters on the front.

 _“A cheesy yet addicting romance novel,”_ she chuckled, _”How am I not surprised.”_

Putting the book aside, she glanced down at the next item. It was a bigger, wider white box.

 _”Could it be?”_ Rarity asked herself as she examined the box. She sniffed the edges, then slowly took the top off.

It was! Rarity slowly picked out one of the strawberries, the majority of it covered in beautiful, delicious, luxurious chocolate. Taking a bite, she savored the lighter, sugary-sweet juice from the strawberry alongside the rich and creamy taste of the chocolate. It was heaven.

 _”Twilight, why do you have to be so amazing?”_ Rarity took another bite before noticing something on her cheek.

 _”Really? I'm crying_ again _?”_ Still, all Rarity could do was smile and giggle, as tears glistened on her face. _”I'm pathetic... Am I really such an emotional wreck that a simple chocolate-covered strawberry can bring me to tears?”_

Half a minute later, Fluttershy entered the room to the sound of bubbly giggling. “Umm, Rarity is everything alrig-” She stopped short as she saw Rarity laughing with tears rolling down her face. “Hey, why are you crying again?”

Rarity looked up, and lifted the white box over to her friend with a smile. “Want a strawberry?”

-~-

Fluttershy sipped her tea politely while Rarity talked.

“...and anyways, I think this 'fun night in' will be great! Twilight and I will have such a good time, perhaps it will be just what I need.”

Rarity dug around the box, coming up with a last strawberry. “Would you like the last one?” She asked politely.

Fluttershy waved a hoof dismissively, her stomach aching slightly from eating four earlier. “No thanks.” She tapped her chin in thought for a second, then began again quickly, “Hey, do you mind if I ask you something?”

Rarity looked up from nibbling on the last strawberry, “Of course! Feel free to speak your mind, dear!”

Fluttershy scratched the back of her neck and blushed slightly. “Well... Umm, this may sound a bit weird, but does any of this whole... Uhh...” She tried to find the right word. “Does any of this whole 'changing yourself' problem have to do with Twilight?” 

Rarity instantly locked up, dropping her strawberry. _"How does she...”_

“W-well... H-h-how did you ever come up with that idea?” Rarity asked, trying her best to pass it off casually.

“Rarity, I may be quiet, but I'm not blind or deaf.” She shrugged. “I don't know, it just seemed to all start after her birthday party, and when I just mentioned her after coming back from town, you nearly jumped off the couch.”

Fluttershy pointed at the note. “And now, you're crying, laughing and getting really excited over a letter she sent you...” She put a hoof on Rarity's good shoulder, her injured one now wrapped gently with an ice pack underneath. “Is everything okay between you two?”

Rarity shrunk back at the question. Cold shocks of anxiety and nervousness ran through her. 

_”What do I do?”_ She asked herself in a panic. _”Can I really tell Fluttershy? I... I don't want to because...”_ The truth was, she couldn't find out exactly why, but she just couldn't! _”But, if I can't tell my_ best friend _, then there is no possible way I can tell Twilight...”_

Rarity closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Alright Fluttershy, I'll tell you... But you can **not** tell anypony else, is that clear?”

The yellow pegasus nodded.

“I...” Rarity gulped. So few words, so hard to say them. But now, she had to be strong. She had to be able to take this first step to be able to take the many others she'd need to afterwards.

“I...Well, I think... Or rather I know..." She fumbled with her words, staring down at the ground.

"Yes?" Fluttershy asked softly.

Rarity looked up at her, trying in vain to keep her voice from shaking.

"I'm in love with Twilight.”


End file.
